Dissolving the Martyr

Before my arrival in Portugal, I underwent a session where we dismantled the antiquated vow to help others at the expense of my own well-being.

The concept of martyrdom has persisted for millennia. Jesus himself is the ultimate example of a martyr, and as I journey through Portugal's churches, I find this motif deeply ingrained in every religious setting.

But why do we glorify the act of sacrificing oneself for others? Where did we internalize the notion that this is the virtuous path?

From what I've observed, women often bear the brunt of this phenomenon. Mothers often put the needs of their children before their own, while many healers exhaust themselves for the sake of their clients and students.

Personally, I'm adamant about shifting away from this archetype. Empty affirmations of my value mean nothing when you expect my services for free, and don’t consider the effort and energy what you are asking requires.

Recently, I found myself in a situation where someone showered me with praise, professing their admiration and asking me to facilitate a big ceremony for them. I felt honored, of course. But after walking through Tara's afterlife, I realized the trap: I was lured into that mess by the allure of being honored, only to find myself trapped in 19 months of sheer torment.

I have a commitment to understanding the more intricate workings of the subtle realms and how much integrity I bring to anything I do, including ceremony.

So although I felt honored, I don’t work for free. Do you?

For years, I have had strangers send me messages on platforms asking for my help but with a twist, they can’t pay, or they want a discount...

In earth-centered communities, we healers were taken care of by the community; our elders taught us, our medicine carriers passed down the training needed for us to step into our role. And while doing so, we were cared for, fed, and housed. No one paid for my education, my worldly travels, my schooling, classes, I did.

I cleaned houses to put myself through herb school, I did work trade, I built my practice and used my own money, my own energy to learn and to study.

When I was younger, most people in my community said it was a waste to go to herb school or to follow the dream I had to learn and or study because it went against what typical folks did.

I pay for everything in my life to this day, and life ain't cheap... So why should I not be compensated?

No one taught me what I teach now. It is through trial, error, struggle, challenges that I am able to sift through to get to the core truth, to be able to share what I see, hear, and learn from each of the experiences I have walked through and how I have alchemized all of it.

For too long, the expectation of selfless sacrifice has been ingrained in our societal fabric, particularly affecting women who often find themselves undervalued and overextended. It's time for a paradigm shift. We must recognize and honor the worth of individuals, especially those who dedicate their lives to serving others.

As I navigate through these experiences, I realize that self-worth is non-negotiable. It's not about arrogance or greed; it's about acknowledging the value we bring to the table and demanding that it be respected.

So, to those who seek my services, know this: I am not just a vessel for your praise or a martyr for your cause. I am a skilled Practitioner, Healer, Medicine Woman, Ceremonialist deserving of compensation for my expertise and energy. And to my fellow women, let's empower each other to stand tall, to charge our worth unapologetically, and to create a world where true value is recognized and respected by all.

In essence, I refuse to be a silent martyr any longer. I choose to reclaim my worth and to pave the way for others to do the same.