A letter to my work
This morning, sitting in my sweet little window seat, looking out into the fog that gently sits over the hills here in Sintra, Portugal, I found myself called to write a letter to my work.
Stepping into this walkabout, a part of my intention is about the reincarnation of my work and offerings, and how I want to share moving forward.
In order to do that, I also have to look back upon the thirty years of devotion to my ‘work’ in the world.
The beliefs that sculpted the way I stepped into my ‘role,’ the ones that are outdated and no longer aligned with my heart.
To forgive the past experiences of abuse from clients and students that led me to dissolve my school so I can look forward towards what I desire to create now…
Dear Beloved Work,
As I sit down to address you, I find myself enveloped in a sea of emotions, each wave crashing against the shores of my consciousness, urging me to confront the depths of our intertwined existence.
You and I, we are not merely separate entities coexisting in the realm of productivity and achievement; we are symbiotic beings, intrinsically linked by a tapestry woven from the fabric of my essence and your manifestation.
From the moment our journey began, I have devoted every fiber of my being to nurturing your growth, your evolution, your mastery. In the pursuit of your success, I willingly offered up pieces of myself, laboring under the illusion that your brilliance must come at the expense of my own well-being. I sacrificed myself, my life, my loves, my health.
The realization came gradually, like a faint whisper carried on the wind, growing louder with each passing day until it reverberated through the chambers of my soul: I could no longer continue down this path of self-destruction. I could no longer sacrifice my own well-being on the altar of helping others. I had to reclaim my sovereignty, my autonomy, my agency.
With a heavy heart, I made the decision to dissolve the constructs that bound us, to release myself from the projections and abuse I was experiencing. I dissolved my school, I quit my work, I left a life I loved because it wasn’t fulfilling my desires for sharing my gifts, having community, and reciprocal relationships.
This dissolution was not an act of defeat; even though in many ways it did feel like it was. It was an act of liberation. It was a declaration to the universe that I no longer agree to be mistreated at the expense of my gifts.
Now I stand here naked, without a place on Earth to call home. Ready to be seen for my mastery, for the breadth of my gifts, to be seen for who I am, how I am walking through this life.
I release the ancestral curse that has seemed to follow me as I strive for success, I know it was deeply woven into the constructs of my experiences. I am not a victim of this pattern.
It is time now to reclaim my worth, my value, my mastery and may it now come not at my own expense, may it come in grace and with love.
I extend forgiveness to myself for the times I neglected my own well-being in pursuit of success, for the clients I felt resentful towards, for the students who projected their entities of unwellness upon me. I forgive them, not to condone their actions, but to release the burden their actions placed upon my spirit.
I am ready to be seen by my friends, clients, students and those that follow my work, for who I am, how I am walking this sacred path of life.
This ceremony of reincarnation welcomes those that value authenticity, who desire to be guided by someone who has walked through the fires over and over again, who has walked through the hell realms, who has learned and honed her skills into a beautiful mastery.
Please see me, not your own reflection and projections. See me. See me for who I am, know my heart, see my truth. Come to me with an open and soft mind ready to explore what is there, what is ready to be tended to.
And to you, dear reader, if my words resonate with you, if you feel the call to walk this sacred path alongside me, I welcome you with open arms. Together, we will kindle a reciprocal relationship, embracing life as ceremony, stepping intentionally and deeply into the magic and mysticism that surrounds us.
If, however, what I share does not align with your values or fails to ignite a spark within you, please know that there are no hard feelings. If we are not a match, I encourage you to unsubscribe. Your journey may lead you elsewhere, and that is perfectly alright. May you find the path that resonates most deeply with your soul's purpose.
With Love, Me