Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

I am reaching out to find a way through the struggle I experience around not being seen and my work not reaching people. On and off throughout my life, I have felt this intangible barrier preventing me from sharing my magic, medicine, and gifts.

This experience grew stronger after my breakdown from burnout while working with clients around 2015. It’s not to say that I haven’t experienced this feeling throughout my entire life, but I did notice it intensified after my awakening experience.

When I moved back to Maui in 2016 and started sharing my work virtually, I felt an increasing sense of being blocked, something keeping me from sharing the medicine I am meant to share here on Earth.

As I created a life that included and worked for me, this experience grew stronger and stronger. There were so many challenging experiences that are honestly unexplainable that I walked through.

Through the journey of stepping into and through all of this, I want to acknowledge a moment of blessing where I had an amazing launch where effort matched input, yet the turnout of students was minimal. This left me with a mix of gratitude and a deep sadness about people not fully showing up for the offering they paid for.

Since that launch, I have continued to endure much. From another psychically unsafe situation of profound projection, relocating back to Maui, to dealing with more projections and weird power struggles that I refused to engage in.

I've experienced the stealing of my content, emotional and psychological attacks, a death initiation, letting go of my school and work, the fires on Maui, the loss of my most beloved being on the planet, and finally leaving Maui in a beautiful way.

Throughout these difficult times, I continued to persevere, despite more struggles with moments of magic woven into the pain and suffering.

These experiences inspired me to go on a walkabout to tend to the ceremony of integrating my symbolic deaths into a rebirth.

I wrote letters to my body, my work, those who don’t wish me well, my father, Tara’s parents, students, and clients who have not been well with me, and to the martyr. I have done ceremonies for each of these, including IG and social media, to the spirit of money, financial abundance, and divine reciprocity.

I walk through sacred lands, making offerings, lighting candles, and inviting flow into all aspects of my life.

Through this process, I have felt subtle and profound shifts and believe I am in a right way with how I walk my path.

Yet, there is an invitation to see where there may be an energy that doesn’t want me to succeed or be seen, acknowledged, or honored for my work, gifts, and medicine. I wonder who or what is causing this block, despite all of my efforts.

I have sought the support of teachers, healers, medicine people, psychics, oracles, friends, and colleagues over these many years to ask why, what, and how.

I lay humbly at the foot of the universe to seek guidance and support to break free from this story, this curse, this inability to be seen.

Help me heal whatever may be inside of me, my ancestors, my genetics, my karma, my astrology.

Clear this block and invite the flow of health, wealth, abundance, wellness, right relationship, grace, acknowledgment, and kindness so I can step fully into the light of my gifts and purpose and share my work with the collective and receive what I deserve for my efforts.

With deep gratitude and an open heart,