Tired of Empty "I Love Yous"?

The sisterhood wound is the reason I walked away from my work.

I was exhausted by the empty "I love yous."

Somehow, even with all the life experience I have had, I am naive. When you say I love you, I believe you mean you will be here for the beautiful moments and the hard ones too.

My work brings you to the edge of your own vulnerability because that is where real transformation and healing live.

When a woman does not yet have the capacity to meet that edge inside herself, she often looks for somewhere to put what is rising. She externalizes it, blames whoever is closest, and leaves.

This is a classic picture in healing work, and I have witnessed it countless times. The women who said I love you the loudest were often the first ones out the door.

It was not only inside my work. I have seen it in friendships, circles, and the spaces that are supposed to be safe enough for a woman to enter as she is.

The moment you were honest, or named something that hurt you, they walked away and left you holding the weight of something they could not stay inside.

That ability to remain present with your own vulnerability without blaming someone else or abandoning yourself is maturity.

Most of us have never had a reference point for maturity, and the absence of it is shaping our relationships, our circles, and the sacred spaces where women come together and promise to love one another.

We live inside a culture that has made human beings disposable. If a relationship challenges us, we leave. We cut people off and move on without ever finding out what the difficult moment was asking of us.

Our worlds are growing smaller because we have lost the ability to stay inside a difficult moment long enough to find out what lives on the other side of it.

Inside women's circles, this takes a specific shape. A woman gives her power to whoever is leading the space. She adores them, places them above her, and hands over the authority that belongs to her.

Then the moment that woman disappoints her, or activates something she does not know how to meet, the teacher, healer, or facilitator falls from the pedestal she never asked to be on.

What lives beneath this dynamic is a woman who has not yet learned to hold her own authority.

Maturity is sitting in circle knowing you are not in competition, that everyone there has come vulnerably to share their authentic selves and heal together, that there is no authority in the room, only a guide who carries a lifetime of experience and devotion, and who has no desire to hold your power for you.

Emotional maturity is the ability to stay present inside a difficult experience, whether that is with yourself or with another.

Mental maturity shows up in the way you talk to yourself when no one else is around. When the looping thought appears, mental maturity is the ability to recognize that something inside you needs to be met, and to give yourself what you need rather than being run by the loop.

Physical maturity is embodiment. Embodiment is the ability to be incarnated in your body and present inside your own flesh. Your spirit rides home to the body on your breath, and physical maturity is the practice of returning there again and again.

Energetic maturity is knowing where your own energy is and being responsible for it.

Spiritual maturity is the deep knowing that you are more than the sum total of your human experience.

This is the map we were never given. Without it, love becomes a performance that lasts only as long as everything feels good.

When I say I love you, I mean I will stay. I mean I will show up for the hard conversation.

When you disappoint me, I will tell you. When I disappoint you, I want you to tell me. We will find our way through it together because that is what love actually asks of us.

This is the medicine of my work and the spaces I create. If you are longing for a women's circle rooted in genuine presence, emotional maturity, and the depth of the feminine mysteries, Holy Grail ☾☽ A Return to Love is a ten-week initiatory journey through the Priestess Path where women learn to hold their own authority, stay inside the difficult and the beautiful alike, and return to the sacred vessel they have always been.